Welcome to The Borderline Connection.
The purpose of this blog is to inform, educate, and amuse my readers with a first-hand experience of living with Borderline Personality Disorder and how to manage its symptoms. I hope to enlighten those curious about the disorder and assure those of my brethren and their friends, families and loved ones that they are not alone. There is healing and humour to be found in the popular and wildly successful therapy program known as Dialectic Behavioural Therapy, which I will do my best to outline in detail.
My diagnosis began after a few adventures in emergency rooms which led to my first hospital admittance for mental illness. That was in the winter of 2015, I had already been living with depression since the fall of 2009. In the years since I have seen at least half a dozen therapists, been on several medications at various doses, had three psychiatrists, engaged in mild self-harm, one more hospital admission, two day-hospital programs, a few support groups, and more panic attacks than I can count. I have done Narrative Therapy, Marriage Counselling, Dramatic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Grief Therapy, Mindfulness, Meditation, and finally, Dialectic Behavioural Therapy.
Currently I am living in the beautiful city of Guelph Ontario with my husband and three children. I read a lot of science fiction and fantasy, and watch all the quintessential nerdy type movies and tv shows. One of my great sorrows while doing DBT was that I found myself to be the only nerd in the group. I would have perfect moments of absolutely pure understanding with a difficult lesson, connecting it to a beloved cult classic and when I tried to share I was met by blank stares. It was heartbreaking.
So I made a notebook. It’s a complete annotated and illustrated copy of the clinical literature we studied in the DBT program, along with my own additions and personal connections. It includes Star Trek, Doctor Who, Lord of the Rings, Monty Python, Harry Potter, Futurama, Game of Thrones, Rick and Morty, the MCU, and (of course) Star Wars.
I have always been a storyteller, my childhood was a happy one, full of imagination and creative play. I was performing stories in front of audiences since I was seven, and two theatre degrees later I still find I have so many things I want to tell the world. Mainly, to calm down a little, but this time it seems most fitting that I follow my most recent impulse and start spewing mental health into the internet.
Bring some tissues, it’s going to be messy.
I would not be writing this today if it were not for my steller support crew. My rock solid husband and miraculous kids, my doting parents and bozoface siblings, my beloved friends and tireless professionals of the mental health community. All have helped me heal and grow and thrive in spite of the ball and chain known as Depression and BPD. Everyday, you make my load lighter so I can live to fight another day.
So please enjoy my story, I hope it makes you laugh, perhaps sometimes cry, but above all, I hope you may learn about BPD, its vices and its gifts, and how we who bear the diagnosis may manage a life we can be proud to live.